Satan
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Who politicians serve.
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Christianity's big bad scapegoat/boogieman. Originally a Jewish demon-like character who tested you, but changed into the all-evil devil that Christians blame everything on. Allows for the dismissal of accountability.
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A few minutes before the services started, the towns people were sitting in their [pews] and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, [trampling] each other in a frantic effort to get away from [evil incarnate]. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat [calmly] in his [pew] without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that Gods ultimate enemy was in his presence. So Satan walked up to the old man and said, Dont you know who I am?
The man replied, Yep, sure do.
Arent you afraid of me? Satan asked.
Nope, sure aint. ! said the man.
Dont you realize I can kill you with a word? asked Satan.
Dont doubt it for a minute, returned the old man, in an even tone.
Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical AGONY for all eternity? persisted Satan.
Yep, was the calm reply.
And youre still not afraid? asked Satan.
Nope.
More than a little [perturbed], Satan asked, Well, why arent you afraid of me?
The man calmly replied, Been married to your sister for over [48 years]. -
what [autocorrect] [thinks] [santa] is
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Obey [Mes] Avatar of Wrath, Wrath being Daddy Issues. Will probably sell you for a [stray cat]. Decided that polka dot pants and feathers were intimidating and went with it. His function in the story is to simp for you and to gossip with [Asmodeus] like they were high schoolers.
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plural. also know as Cats. Satan is considered evil, yet everyone loves cats.
They are [fluffy], adorable, and [planning] your [demise].
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Satan, also known as the Devil, and sometimes also called Lucifer in Christianity, is an entity in Abrahamic religions that seduces humans into sin or falsehood. In Judaism, Satan is seen as an agent subservient to God, typically regarded as a metaphor for the yetzer hara, or evil inclination. In Christianity and Islam, he is usually seen as a fallen angel or jinn who has rebelled against God, who nevertheless allows him temporary power over the fallen world and a host of demons. In the Quran, Shaitan, also known as Iblis, is an entity made of fire who was cast out of Heaven because he refused to bow before the newly created Adam and incites humans to sin by infecting their minds with waswās.
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