Gluten

[Sarah]

The viscid, tenacious substance which gives adhesiveness todough.

[Sarah]

A protein that is found in cereal grains such as wheat, rye, barley, spelt, and kamut, but NOT in rice, quinoa, corn, buckwheat, or millet. It is a more common allergen than most people are aware of. The condition in which the body creates an immune response to products containing gluten is called Celiac disease.

[Sarah]

Something that an attention seeker is allergic to.

[Sarah]

This little guy is found in wheat, rye, and barley. People with celiac cannot consume it because their intestine for some sickening reason things gluten is evil and rejects it. This is a sad thing, because a gluten-free diet in America is a very, very depressing thing.
While your friends eat oreos, cake, and other hallmarks of the wondrous American diet, you must crunch dry rice cakes and order salads without croutons or most dresses.
Gluten is basically evil. It punches the villi of a celiac's gut and it's not nice. Gluten is evil.

[Sarah]

wheat, rye, barley.
common allergen.

[Sarah]

The most awesome substance known to man. It is the extract of mexican diarrhea, which is made by shitting through a tennis racket. If you chemically break down the diarrhea, you will get two subtances, gluten and bubers.

[Sarah]

what celiacs can't have.

contrary to the previous definition, i promise you as a celiac that gluten IS in buckwheat and quinoa.

[Marquetta]

A mixture of two proteins present in cereal grains, especially wheat, which is responsible for the elastic texture of dough.

[Tina]

Extremely toxic poison that kills its victims slowly and painfully if consumed. Avoid any physical contact. It is also advisable to avoid [inhalation], as the smell of [gluten] has been reported to make you gain double [your weight] in fat in a matter of seconds. This poison is responsible for everything bad that has ever happened in this country.