Derpies

[Sarah]

A disease (perhaps contagious) symptomized by using continuous [derp] actions.

[Couch Potatoe]

Derpies is an increasingly prevalent socially-transmitted disease that impairs mental function in afflicted individuals. Derpies has become as common as one-in-two individuals on average in the worlds population. The level of concentration of affected individuals increases the risk of exposure and transmission exponentially. Despite this fact, rural areas appear equally affected as urban areas. Cooperative vigilance and increased awareness are strongly advised as the only effective deterrents to the spread of this illness.
Symptoms of Derpies include:
Decline in common sense
Impairment of motor functions
Reduction in observational skills
Appreciation of reality television
Pattern of poor decisionmaking
Increased laugh response
Reckless driving and parking
Misuse of commonly used words
Distortion of spacial reasoning
Excessive quasi-aggressive
physical contact
If four or more of the listed symptoms apply to you, a friend or a loved one, Derpies may have already taken root in your social environment. Unlike its permanent, sexually-transmitted
cousin; Herpes, the non-permanent Derpies is potentially deadly. It is important for affected individuals to seek academic assistance immediately to mitigate Derpies-associated
risks to your social well-being.

[Britney]

A highly contagious disease originating from John Lane.
This disease is spread through acts of sheer stupidity, and there is no known cure.