Lecture lodestone

[Britney]

NOUN
The one person who, unbeknownst to them, keeps you from failing a subject at university simply by being so beautiful (among myriad meh looking peers) that you happily zombie your way to the lecture just to sit behind them and stare at the back of their perfect head for an hour. [lodestone]
During that one, magical hour you:
a) Get heart palpitations glimpsing a perfectly sculpted ear...or if super duper lucky,sliver of sideface- ohhHHHhhh yeeeEEEAAAAaahhh!
b)Try to stop breathing so heavily/swallowing so often etc.
c) Absorb bits of lecture during mental intermissions between daydreaming about what their name might be, what their voice might sound like, what you would talk about, whether theyd notice if you touched their hair, if your babies would inherit their hair, what shampoo they use etc.; thus enabling a pass mark- BONUS!
After [shadowing] a complete stranger all semester, your borderline-obsessive and stalkerliciously-sprung self knows that any possible post-fantasy encounter would go down like this:
Hottie, smiling politely after unintentional physical contact:
oops, sorry
You, grinning INTENSELY ,[shitting rainbows] red-facedly:
[GOOD THANKS]!