Flagstaff syndrome

[Zipporah Schumaker]

Illness contracted by [Flagstaff] women that causes extreme disproportion between the upper and lower body. Usually subjects are depicted with a normal-ish upper body and the unfortunate swelling and inflation of buttocks and thighs. It is believed too be a natural phenomenon caused by the high [elevation] and cold weather of Flagstaff, causing over preparation of the body in storing lower body fat for the cold of the winter season. DNA specimens suggest these subjects are close relatives with the [hippopotamus].