Pubic measles

[Zipporah Schumaker]

Contagious disease of the lower pubic regions first discovered in [Glenjamin] Willybobble
Cause:
Chronic insane [anal pounding] – with various kitchen utilities (most frequently a whisk inside a blender)
Being from Blackpool and surrounding areas
Bending over in Cemetery Junction Public Toilets with loose morals
Symptoms include:
Irrational and sustained itching of the scrotum and meatus
Constant need for [sexual relief] – usually resulting in chronic masturbation until pustules burst
Disgusting groinal aroma followed by an inability to follow conversation and stating the obvious and implied