• pro·gram·mer (n) An organism capable of converting caffeine into code.

  • One who can read the following example

  • Semi-sentient being who inexplicably survives an extremely unhealthy lifestyle. Usually found in confined spaces with low lighting, at a computer terminal.

  • A programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of being able to turn out, after innumerable punching, an infinite series of incomprehensive answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague assumptions based on debatable figures taken from inconclusive documents and carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of dubious reliability and questionable mentality for the avowed purpose of annoying and confounding a hopelessly defenseless department that was unfortunate enough to ask for the information in the first place.

  • An individual skilled at writing software code.

    Neo-programmers are unlike computer nerds of the past. These new programmers are numerous, travel in groups, and can be easily identified by scruffy hair accompanied with a goatee. Most enjoy arguing with you about the minutia of life. Eating habits are poor, which generally leads to moderate or severe potbelly.

    Programmers also enjoy other activities, including online poker, Halo 3, Call of Duty, Gears of War, and playing guitar.

    They can sometimes be abrasive due to poor underlying social skills. For example, every joke a programmer tells is specifically designed to make sense only to other programmers. This makes attracting females difficult, which can easily be fixed by meeting women through an online service.

  • It is really difficult to say what is programmer. On [computer]s language this means The Lord, though...

  • A dood that Builds code for everything on your Computer. He understands a whole bunch of code that may look like jibbirish to you.

  • A formulaic motion picture, an uninspired, by the book (or by the numbers) B movie.

  • n. {proh-gram-er}
    An organism that turns caffeine and pizza into software.


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