Hallmark

[Tanya Shivari]

a subsiduary of Mills

[Dave Paprocki]

A conglomerate constructed entirely of cardstock, glitter, and Keepsake ornaments. Hallmarks main goal is to perpetuate Christmas year-round, so its four quarters are labeled as follows: Almost Christmas, Christmas, Still Christmas, and Valentines Day. Among its many schemes for holiday perpetuation are things such as: three (3) separate keepsake ornament events (the first of which occurs in July), constant, nagging reminders to customers to begin stocking up on cards for Christmas (beginning sometime around August), and the unnecessarily long post-holiday sale that runs right up to the beginning of Valentines Day.
Since Christmas provides such a large part of Hallmarks revenue, it feels the need to begin releasing its prized Keepsake Ornaments in early July, just as most people are finally beginning to put the horror of the previous holiday behind them. Thus, Almost Christmas begins, moving smoothly into Christmas sometime around mid-October. Still Christmas begins directly after New Years and runs until February 14th and often beyond, so Still Christmas and Valentines Day often overlap.
Valentines Day, which is the lesser of Hallmarks insidiously overdone holidays, fills in the gap between Still Christmas and Almost Christmas nicely while still managing to fill the duel purpose of guilting men into showering the objects of their affections with glittery cards, fluffy teddy bears, and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate.

[Zipporah Schumaker]

Hallmark is a place where thick pieces of paper with [corny] sayings are sold for ridiculous prices. Some are too mushy to be serious, whereas others honestly might provide amusement.
Also, a brand invented by some ugly old man, last name Hall, to help get himself in better with the women by sending her candy and goofy little holiday stuff.
Known for inventing such holidays as Valentines Day, Administrative Professionals Day, Sweetest Day, Friendship Day, Clergy Day, and many many more.

[Kai]

Besides being a greeting card company, it also means a male who has no balls. therefore he is way to simpathetic and crys over chick flicks. Enjoys buying stuffed animals and flowers for his girlfriend who has him by his non existent nuts. He listens to his every word as if he thought he could blow a load on it. Hallmark club cards, and Hallmark are not that different when you think about it.

[Couch Potatoe]

A mark stamped on articles of gold, silver, or platinum by the British assay offices, certifying their standard of purity.