Pregnancy

[Tina]

The Ultimate STD.

[Dave Paprocki]

Something living on the inside of you, leeching your nutrients, without killing you, that is [parasitism] at its best.

[Greta]

Pregnancy is the bane of a mans existance. It occurs in fertile women when a man plants his seed in her V-Hole (intentionally or unintentionally) followed with the womans belly expanding. 9 months later, a baby (spawn of Satan) comes out of her V-Hole and then youll have to take care of it for 18 years. You know the universe hates you if you get wins/triplets from an unplanned pregnancy. If the female is pregnant and the male never had sex with her, take a DNA test and hope for the best.
If you want to avoid getting your partner pregnant, use a condom and hope that it doesnt break. Either that or bitch out and dont have sex.

[Little_Girl]

If you have to come here to figure out what this word means, I hope your girlfriend never becomes it.

[Zipporah Schumaker]

reverse abortion

[Mark Zuckerberg]

The most common STD.

[Sommer]

to be [pregnant], to be in [bad shit]. as in, give-up-your-hopes-and-dreams-you-sorry-fuck-this-means-game-over bad shit.

[Julene]

What everyone seems all surprised at for [virtually] [no reason]. I mean, you had [unprotected sex], what do you think is gonna happen?

[Gregory]

If you are reading and you or your partner is expecting then keep reading.
Take this pregnancy seriously, its never too soon to start his/her college funds. Eat [healthy foods] and get exercise (recommended during 1-2 trimesters) [Joint pain] can happen so go for a nice relaxing swim but not in jacuzzis, too much heat is bad for the baby. Remember ur baby is in ur tummy one of the warmest spots of ur body.
Try to relax as much as often. Your entire pregnancy is going to be exhausting. Make sure you take [vitamins]. U can ask ur doctor about those.
Remember when your beautiful baby is older he or she is going to make lots of mistakes. Its ur job to make sure they learn from them the proper way.
Give them some space, (Im 17 and my mum still doesnt give me any space ) especially if they are mad. Approach the topic later on.
Do your best to control your own anger as well. If they see u burst [in flames] due to anger they will think its ok therefore following ur path.
Set an example...you are his/ her [romodel].
If u have made it thus far then u can tell children are not an [easy task]. But its not always hard either. Nobody is going to be the perfect parents but if u try your best, they will let u know ur doing good ( not verbally) Always remember kids are going to say things that can hurt ur feelings but trust me they dont mean it.

[Tanya Shivari]

‘[Bout] 9 months