Festivus

[Rihanna]

n. An alternative to the crass commercialization of Christmas, typically celebrated on December 23. It involves The Airing of Grievances (telling your family and friends all the ways they have disappointed you during the year) and does not end until the Feats of Strength (pinning the head of the family) are accomplished. A plain, metal pole is used in lieu of a Christmas tree, because decorations (such as tinsel) is distracting from the true meaning of the holiday.

[Donald Trump]

Festivus is a holiday created by Mr. Castanza after he failed to buy a doll for his beloved son George. This holiday celebrates the things that grieved you for the past solar cycle (1 year). It is celebrated annually on December 23rd by the Castanza household and Seinfeld super-fans. The abscence of a tree is replaced by an aluminum pole. A festivus ritual is two people wrestling each other remorselessly and the head of the family is to be pinned. The holidays motto is a festivus for the rest of us. For a period of over 20 years, Festivus was suspended from celebration only to be reencarnated by Cosmo Cramer in 1998.

[Justin Bieber]

A healthy alternative to Christmas or Chaunaka. Intstead of feeling an overwhelming compulsion to run up credit card debt by purchasing things for people that they will probably not need and regift to someone else next year, you get a microphone stand around which whores can dance. Everyone airs their grievances by writing a problem on a piece of paper and putting it into a box (without the persons name). Then people take turns reading them and the others offer solutions or crack on that person. After the anger and embarassment build (which is magnified by massive amounts of alcohol), it is time for Feats of Strength. These can consist of anything from arm wrestling to tackle football in the backyard to chicken fighting. Unlike Christmas, people are actually real and end up feeling emotionally healed!

[PussyCat]

Proposed nondenominational alternative to Christman and Hanukkah.

[Donald Trump]

Adapted from the episode of Seinfeld; The Strike. It must take place between any holiday period. However, it is much preferred to coincide with the December to February holiday atmosphere.
The Festivus consists of The Airing of Grievances and the Feats of Strength. However, in accordance with the official Brisbane-Adelaide agreement “The Airing of Grievances” will be now known as “The Time of Crap Speeches” and “Feats of Strength” will be now known as “Crushing Booze”.
There is an icon known as “The Festivus Pole”. It must be in the form of a microphone stand. It should be tall, golden, long and skinny. The microphone must be broken by the end of Festivus, during intoxicated karaoke sessions.
In the beginning there was Festivus One. It was held in Brisbane in February 2003 and, behold, it was very good. The second Festivus was held in December 2003 in Adelaide and there was light.
And on the seventh day of each Festivus sanctuary will be given to those who have gone without sleep and without walking in a straight line. And he shall rest on the seventh day from all his sauce which he has hacked.
Finally, each day you pass in between each Festivus must be spent spreading forth the good word of Festivus and the adventures that were had.

[Britney]

a night of male bonding where everyone chills and gets wasted and pukes all over the house

[Jessica]

when one gathers with a friend and two other friends from ones beach house to smoke lots of marijuana, reminisce, then go to a light show

[Justin Bieber]

a jewish holiday just to have fun in school no relation to the festivus from seinfeld

[Rihanna]

A rare holiday that combines the traditions of Jews and Christians. They often use a metal pole for their center piece of decoration instead of a christmas tree or lights.