Walk like an egyptian

[Tariq Zaki]

In the 1980s, [Osiris], the great and terrible Egyptian god of the dead, awakened from a centuries-old sleep to wreak vengeance on the modern, monotheistic world which had weakened him to a near-death state. He set about orchestrating a master plan which would make the world pay for his defeat. As his first order of business, he called his servant [Anubis] to his subterranean chamber, instructing him to go to earth and bring back four mortal souls. The jackal god returned with four souls, which Osiris possessed and named [Susanna Hoffs], [Debbi] Peterson, [Michael Steele] and Vicki Peterson. With his [telekinetic] powers, he returned them to earth, where they wrote a song proclaiming the power of the Egyptian gods. It climbed the charts and hooked many listeners. But the song contained an evil curse, a curse that took hold of the listeners mind for decades on end. Soon everyone was hopelessly obsessed with the song, humming it on street corners and in public restrooms. Even today, to speak the accursed name of the song spells doom. So be careful; respect Osiris and his assortment of half-animal courtiers. If you dont, you could be the next victim.