Maritime goggles

[Donald Trump]

A condition that occurs when a cadet is at New York Maritime College for too long, resualting in an [illision] that makes females more attractive than they really are. Similar to beer goggles, the two should never be combined in an unsafe area. The effects of the combination of the two are catastrophic, often resaulting in massive quantities of shame and ridicule by peers. There is, in fact, an equation that describes the potency of Maritime Goggles, h (.15w)=[mgh], with h being equal to the initial hotness of the chick, w being equal to the number of consecutive weeks a cadet is stuck on campus )whithout being [off campus] for [a span of] greater than1week), and mgh being equal to the maritime [goggle] hotness, or the final hotness of the chick.