Tabular rash

[Mark Zuckerberg]

A [tubular] rash is [the rash] caused by having sexual intercourse with a table. Generally the deeper and harder the penetration, the more severe the rash. This is commonly found in frustrated middle aged men and teenage virgins. [The rash] is located on the male genitalia and will bleed and puss eventually becoming a sexually transmitted disease capable of having similar symptoms to genital warts.