Urinal protocol

[Oralee]

The unwritten, unmentioned male code of conduct strictly governing behaviour in a public restroom.
[Urinal protocol] dicktates (pardon the pun) that every male must make due effort to accommodate a [buffer urinal] if possible. In situations when a buffer urinal is not possible, the pissor must engage in mindless, inane, random conversation with his fellow piss-ees- a phenomenon known as [urinal talk]. The highest rule of [urinal protocol] governs eye contact. Eyes must remain straight ahead in a zombie-like stare, and finish with only a brief glance downward (at your putz) during the final shake. While a brief glance at the face of a fellow piss-ee is an acceptable part of urinal talk, a 30 second jaw-agape stare at his dong is un-cool. Similarly, while placing a hand on the wall above the urinal to steady ones self is acceptable (especially when drunk), placing ones hand on anothers sholder is not too cool. [Urinal talk] must never lead to the pissor urinating on the shoes of the piss-ee.
Urinal protocol evolved as a means to deal with [urinal anxiety] (also referred to as being pee shy) and its corresponding eccentric behaviour. Restroom owners may erect (pardon the pun) a shame shield as a method of dealing with urinal anxiety and encourage compliance with the time-tested urinal protocol.