Newspaper
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A sheet of paper printed and distributed, at stated intervals,for conveying intelligence of passing events, advocating opinions,etc.; a public print that circulates news, advertisements,proceedings of legislative bodies, public announcements, etc.
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A homeless person's blanket.
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An instrument aiding the execution of the common house fly.
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A pastime for people while taking a shit.
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To read the newspaper is a euphemism for taking a shit.
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A pre-internet (i.e. ancient) current affairs blog that featured spell check and editorial standards. Occasionally they might run issues (postings for those who are not fluent in grandpa speak) featuring commentary and reactions by people who might write in complete sentences and direct their statements to something called an editor (this word is not available in Webster's .8).
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A publication that an attractive woman under the age of 40 does not read.
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Newspapers are the [rough] drafts of history [books]. However, they dont [represent] the way they used to.
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a regularly printed document consisting of large sheets of paper that are folded together, or a website, containing news reports, articles, photographs, and advertisements:
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