Jesus

[Sarah]

Jesus lived a really long time ago in the Holy Land. He taught a lot of people to be nice to each other. He told stories, called parables, to help people understand about heaven and how they should live. A bunch of guys called Pharisees thought that he was dissing God by calling himself God's son (they called it blasphemy), so they plotted to kill him. One of Jesus' closest friends helped the Roman soldiers capture Jesus for about 12 bucks. The Romans were fair about it, though, and gave the people of Rome the choice to free either Jesus, or a guy who was thrown in jail for murder; they chose to free the murderer.

Jesus was publicly humiliated in front of loads of people, and was nailed to a cross. Even when all this had happened, he still asked God to forgive everybody for treating him like a criminal.

Jesus was one of the most influential men in history. Our modern day calendar is based on his birth. About 30% of the world's population hail Jesus as God. They say he performed many miracles and even came back from the dead. The Christian religion states that Jesus died for the forgiveness of sins, and that even if you are a terrible person in this world, as long as you believe in him as Christ, you will be forgiven and will go to heaven.

Even if you don't believe Jesus is the Messiah, you've got to admit, he was a pretty cool guy and inspired millions of people to be nicer.

[Sarah]

The guy who came and died on the cross to pay the debt of my sins.
Analogy:

[Sarah]

THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH:

1. He never got married.
2. He never held a steady job.
3. His last request was a drink.

THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS PUERTO RICAN:

1. His first name was Jesus.
2. He was always in trouble with the law.
3. His mother didn't know who his father was.

THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS ITALIAN:

1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He worked in the building trades.

THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK:

1. He called everybody brother.
2. He had no permanent address.
3. Nobody would hire him.

THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS CALIFORNIAN:

1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot.
3. He invented a new religion.

AND FINALLY, THE PROOF THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH:

1. He went into his father's business.
2. He lived at home until the age of 33.
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure He was God.

[Sarah]

My mexican gardener, he does a great job

[Sarah]

A good answer for pretty much anything.

[Jessica]

Saying Jesus [backwards] [sounds] like [Sausage] try it.

[Michiko]

Jesus is a common male name for [Hispanics]. Jesus is [the guy] that will take [your girl].

[Greta]

A Hispanic guys name usually. A smart, funny, handsome guy. His personality is like no one [elses] he makes [a great boyfriend]. Although some people may find him rude because he could be an ass hole. He loves for his girl friend so much and doesnt take her [for granted]. Treat him wrong and he would basically end you. Anyone would be lucky to have Jesus as a boyfriend, or best friend.

[Julene]

A Mexican male name of both Hebrew and Spanish origin. Pronounced [hey-zeus].
Jesus are often times shy, [guarded], and like to keep to themselves. However, when they find motivation to do something, they are the least shy people of all. Once comfortable with someone, although still guarded, they will open up a bit more.
They are known for their masculine looks and [exasperated] sighs. They are characterized by [strong arm] and bicep muscles which many find useful when pulling a woman in for a kiss. The skin of [a Jesus] is constantly warm to the touch unless they are outside for long periods of time in inappropriate clothing, such as at a [high school football game] in the end of October in a light jacket.
When they have a bad feeling about something, some may stay up throughout the night until they [get bad] new, like a phone call from a crying friend.
When a Jesus finds a girl, always a beauty in their eyes, there will either be terrible heartbreak or wondrous love. He will one day find a girl that adores his smiles and will get lost in his eyes. When they embrace, shell wonder what has taken her so long to find this person. Both will realize just how much they love each other and how much they both want to spend the rest of their lives together.
When they no longer hold back, they become a great listener, a caring best friend, and a tender lover. Anyone who gets to know them for who they really are will either fall in love with them, or wish that they had him as a best friend.

[PussyCat]

A super sweet guy on the inside, he tries to act tough though. Jesus is usually a Hispanic name, he has a [deep voice] dark [wavy hair], light skin, and HUGE brown eyes. He’s afraid of rejection and tries to not hurt anyone’s feelings, he also thinks he’s ugly when in reality he’s adorable!!! BUT [Jesus can] also be sexy, he’s not very innocent

[Julian]

The central figure of the Christian religion. Jesus conducted a mission of preaching and healing (with reported miracles) in Palestine in about AD 28–30, which is described in the Gospels. His followers considered him to be the Christ or Messiah and the Son of God, and belief in his resurrection from the dead is the central tenet of Christianity.

[Dianne]

the church to which Mormons belong