Towny

[Merna]

A curiosity particular to the [British Isles], although derived chiefly from the gangsta rap culture of the [inner cities] of America. Townies are often seen in, as the name suggests, the town centre of any settlement, walking with a distinct bobbing movement akin to that of someone wearing a very [heavy backpack]. They have a tendency to clothe themselves in unnecessarily large olive-green parkas, tracksuits and plastic baseball caps. This is not dissimilar to a [peacocks] plumage, with the notable distinction that [the peacocks] [tail feathers] are a thing of beauty and make the male bird more attractive to the opposite sex.
On the subject of the opposite sex, it is often possible to observe the phenomenon of the girl towny. This female variety is not dissimilar to the male variety, except that even more white clothing is worn, in stark contrast to the often orange war-paint worn caked over the faces of female townies. This serves to obliterate the feaures of the girl townies and cleverly hide the fact that the male and female of the species are almost indistinguishable without aids to appearance.
Interpersonal relationships among their own groups are often primitive, centred around cheap sexual conquests and who is going to batter who. The two are often linked.
The activities displayed by townies often serve to demonstrate a [deep-seated] aggression, often causing behaviour associated with extreme aggressiveness and violence. This includes a tendency to [veer] towards a non-towny in the street and start on them, at the same time accusing the aforementioned non-towny of doing the same to them. This is often accompanied by swearing, usually [Come on then], you fking ct! or similar aggressive [twaddle].
Townies generally have no knowledge of how their sub-culture started, as despite their apparent embracing of black culture, they are usually more likely to take part in a racist assault than normal people like you or I. In fact, any group assault is likely to have townies at the root of the problem.
I hope you have enjoyed reading my definition. If any more evidence/information is required, feel free to watch Crimewatch UK and look at the [CCTV] footage of street violence. I think youll be pleasantly surprised. Seriously, do it.