Kitty cat

[Dave Paprocki]

The sweetest, cutest, funniest, most adorable being you will ever see in your entire life and beyond. Has the legendary ability to mind control you to pet them using only their faces and eyes, will occasionally do something super addictively cute like trying to grab your limbs and hands or chasing your feet just to keep you interested in [petting] them.

They have won. [The kitty] war has been finished a long time ago. We had no chance. We humans are their slaves now. We must [obey].