The stegall disclaimer

[Kit]

[Clause].
Codicil used by males prior to engaging in vaginal/anal intercourse with [sorostitutes]. This [clause] is directly used to relieve any and/or all future hopes of aforementioned guttersluts from pressuring said individual into relationships. Further, the male in said situation is absolved from all guilt stemming from palpation of the vaginal canal and/or anus on any given sexual encounter. Upon acceptance of the agreement, the [sorostitute] has no grounds to bitch or [carp] about the male’s absence of interest in her personally as well as sexually post copulation. The function of the agreement replaces the antiquated phrase “sex does not constitute a relationship” that is typically used in one’s defense after coitus. It is important to note that most experts agree that had [the Stegall Disclaimer] been instituted in our fathers’ time most bullshit that almost all of us have had to deal with at one time or another could have been avoided.
NOTE: The most integral and [ingenuous] part of the [disclaimer] is that it dispels the myth that the vast majority of women believe that they are “special” and “different” from all other “pieces of ass.” In addition, the application of this verbal contract vindicates a fundamental part of the male’s relationship slant – women are stupid and think that they can change men, but they are incorrect. It is important to remember that the use of the disclaimer MUST be clearly in place before the first penetrating act. Serious consequences will result if the methodology is applied AFTER “rearranging her guts.”
The [Disclaimer] was first implanted in the fall of 2003 and has since achieved overwhelmingly positive results. To the knowledge of all pundits of the clause, the disclaimer’s veil has not been pierced since inception.
*[The Stegall Disclaimer] does not protect against HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases.