Assizes
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A [panel] of magistrates whose purpose is to [determine] how big someones [posterior] really is, regardless of whatever form-flattering clothing that the person happens to wear.
Assizes meaning & definition 1 of Assizes.
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(in Wales and England until 1971) one or more of the meetings of the most important court in each county , usually held four times a year by a travelling judge
Assizes meaning & definition 2 of Assizes.