Subconjunctival hemorrhage

[Cami]

[Subconjunctival hemorrhage] is a broken [blood vessel] in the eye caused by a lack of the following: vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, cunnilingus, [anilingus], kissing, flirting, fondling, hugging, and a lack of loving text messages from someone special.
The condition is self-resolving with an adequate amount of TLC from the appropriate person. Preferable done away from life, for a minimum of two nights...just you and me...secluded from the world.