Snobbish hound

[Gregory]

A dog,usually of the Irish Wolfhound breed. They are fed tumours, which lodge in their throat, causing them to fail to make any sound except [grumbling] guttural noises. Snobbish hounds appear to be smothered in tar and are commonly mistaken for toxic chemical spills. Their [hind legs] are nearly alway broken (should they be born with any) and they are bred by Captain [BigglesWorth], the happy-go-lucky homeless millionaire with a knack for destroy anything he touches, physically, mentally and spiritually.