Engagement

[Agnes]

A formal agreement to get married.

[Raeanne Dimick]

n. the state of being partway between single and married; an indefinite period of time where you plan and put off the seemingly inevitable.
For a female partner, this period of time is filled with moodiness, piles of [bridal] magazines, and excessive showing off to her friends and family. She alternates between showering you with grateful affection and mercilessly [hounding] you to make sure you truly love her. Often, the simplest question -- such as what do you want from the grocery store? -- provokes a fit of insecurity and accusations about you cheating on her with that slutty [stocker] in [aisle 9]. She will also ask you peculiar and often terrifying questions, such as how many kids you want to have (six or seven?), in an attempt to secure certainty of your complete sincerity and fidelity.
At other times, she will obsessively plan out every detail of your wedding without your explicit consent. Do not be [taken aback] by her behavior -- she has had practice with this since she started fantasizing about her wedding at about the age of seven.
You will also often see her surrounded by other women, usually her close friends and members of her family, all weeping in joy or [clamoring] to see that damned expensive ring you got her. At this time, they will tend to squeal and cry at random times and speak in their own cryptic language. Warning: do not attempt to approach such a [hoarde] of women. Such an action would not only be suicidal but also extremely stupid. See The [Darwin Awards] for accounts of such [follies].
For the male partner, this time is often filled with depression, anxiety, and [indecision]. The gravity of the situation finally sinks in, and you will find him alternating between absolute compliance to your every word and hesitant dodging of your questions. You may find him indulging in beer, coffee, ESPN, or [Spike TV] more than usual. His sympathetic friends may throw him a bachelor party, which will be his [last chance] to guiltlessly peek up another girls skirt. Do not be taken aback by this infidelity; it will be his [last breath] of fresh air before you may legally and emotionally smother him for life.
During your latest sexual encounter, you may also find that his left nut is missing. Do not be alarmed; that was the cost of your diamond ring.
For certain couples in Massachusetts and Canada, this brief period of time will be filled with fabulous celebration. There may be little actual [decision-making] involved; youre obviously going to play that heart-wrenching RENT song at your wedding, you already picked out your handsome tuxedo months ago, the pink [champagnes] in the mail, and maybe you can even convince that sexy pool-cleaner to be your best man. Hey, cant a guy indulge a little before he ties [the knot]?
According to Hollywood, engagement is also the time when couples are most prone to affairs, scandals, and general promiscuity. It is the default status for any hot celebrity couple, as they can afford the thousands of dollars [on ten] diamond rings (just to be sure) and their emotions are somehow more flexible and breakable than that of a regular couple.

[Mark Zuckerberg]

A [calculated] decision made to prevent others from encroaching on territory held by proposer of [engagement]. Simultaneously marking [all call] options held to zero in the process. Antonym: See True Love

[Rihanna]

(1) in war it is a [battle]
(2) in [courtship] it is a [surrender]

[Kit]

Engagement in Modern Pentathlon - Fencing. When both blades are in contact.

[Hina Muqadas]

An appointment, especially to speak or perform.