Liberals

[Justin Bieber]

Persons so open minded that their brains have fallen out.
Those who have abandoned logic and reason, and rely on warm fuzzys as a sound basis for the making of decisions.
Avocates of policy that empowers a strong federal government to enslave its people with the high tax burden incident to the support of extravagant and unnecessary (not to mention unconstitutional) social programs destructive to both the work ethic among the lower class, and the incentive to innovate and succeed among the upper class. In effect: To overthrow the constitution by destroying the basic guarantees of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness that its framers ingrained into it. (...its like when three wolves and a lamb vote on what to have for dinner... Liberals are the wolves who punish those in our society who work hard and are successful.)
Hypocrites who deride members of the religious right for imposing its religion upon them. Ironically, also guilty of trying to impose its religion upon the religious right... just bitter because the religious right, nation wide, still holds the majority. (Hey, morons: Every law is an imposition of someones morals on someone else. Youre just mad that its not your morals that are being imposed!)
Moral elitists who look down with disdain upon the traditional values and faith in the Creator that made this nation the greatest in history. They view those who hold to The Faith as unenlightened and unsophisticated, those who just dont get it.
Hypocrites who preach tolerance of all, then openly mock and ridicule Republicans/Christians, deniers of global warming, and others who disagree with them.
They preach environmentalism as they criss-cross the nation in private jets, limos, and SUVs, and pay thousand-dollar electric bills for their multi-million dollar mansions, all while preaching the new national religion (a concept they also claim to oppose) of environmentalism with its apocalyptic the-sky-is-falling global warming BS.
They advocate equality and freedom of choice for all, yet they advocate the progressive tax structure that punishes and takes freedom from those whove succeeded. Yet they favor discrimination against white males whom they blame for all of societies ills (like driving minorities and the lower class to lives of poverty and incarceration), and avocate affirmative action which furthers the racial discrimination that they claim to have fought to end.
They claim to advocate the elimination of poverty, yet vehemently oppose teaching people how not to become poor: WORK HARD, GET AN EDUCATION, AND KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED TILL MARRIAGE. (Look it up. It really is the way to eliminate poverty...)
They hold steadfastly to the constitution, holding sacred the Bill of Rights, while decrying the two rights that guarantee all of the others: The rights to freedom of the press (McCain-Feingold act, and the fairness doctrine) and the bearing of arms (all gun control).
Opponents of the death penalty for those most deserving of death, advocates of abortion of those most deserving life.
Liberals often refer to themselves as progressives. This is, however, an inaccurate term, as liberalism does not lead to progress. It only tears down time-honored traditions and proven institutions like the family, democracy, faith in God, self-reliance, personal responsibility, hard work, and other things that make our nation great. Liberalism advocates a return to the primal, the carnal, the primitive, the calling of evil good and good evil, and therefore is not progressive. A more accurate term might be regressive.
Liberals come in several variations:
Hollywood liberal: A celebrity who lives a trite, meaningless life in a drug-induced haze of casual sex, infidelity, and amorality, changing spouses like designer shoes, who then lectures the rest of us on whats right and wrong.
Also a member of the Hollywood elite that produces films, music, and tv that portrays the US to the world as a violent, greedy nation of oversexed hedonists with plastic boobs (see Baywatch, Beverly Hills 90210, Desperate Housewives, and other popular American fare airing throughout the world in film and syndication) and then blames George Bush and the Republicans for making the world hate us.
Wine and cheese liberal: (Often synonymous with Hollywood liberal) Liberals who fly their private jet to town and show up at an event in a limo, while wearing designer clothes and expensive jewelry as they associate with other liberals, bemoaning the miserable quality of life around the world, AIDS, poverty and global warming, the fact that the French hate us, and blaming Americans (or specifically the Republicans) for causing it.
See Bono, Al Gore, Jimmy Carter, George Clooney, Sean Penn, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jane Fonda, Tim Robbins, Madonna, etc...
Poor Liberal: A liberal who sits on his couch all month waiting for the welfare check to come. Claims to be unable to find a job or uses Im holding out for a management position as justification for being unemployed for five years while his wife is out bringing home the bacon.
Poor liberals always vote for candidates wholl show the most compassion to the poor, as they know that compassion is lib-speak for welfare.
Other poor liberals rely on compassion to feed the six kids they had before the age of 21 with six different fathers. They cant rely on the fathers because theyre all in prison. They arent held responsible, because, wine-and-cheese liberals say, its not their fault. Its the white mans fault for being rich, thereby making them poor.
Still other poor liberals eagerly await the day when they will receive repairations for the injustice of slavery that their ancestors endured, claiming outwardly that that fact alone entitles them (having never been enslaved) to a free ride, while inwardly looking for a way to subsidize a life of laziness and thereby avoid having to work for what they get like the rest of us.
Smart liberal: There is actually no such thing as a smart liberal. The term is an oxymoron. Smart liberals only think theyre smart because they work in a university (they work at universites because theyre not smart enough to get jobs in the private sector). This is generally speaking of course, as there may actually be one or two somewhere.
Bill Clinton: Not necessarily liberal or conservative, he just parties with liberal chicks cause he knows theyll put out. (Such behavior explains, therefore, his advocacy of abortion rights.)
Other types exist, however they really arent worth mentioning.

[Dave Paprocki]

A socio-political group that believes the best way to stamp out things like crime, unacceptable behavior, and other forms of social deviance is to legalize and/or accept everything. However, the hypocrisy of Liberals stems from their intolerance of anything that is not a liberal; i.e., they accept anything but a conservative mindset.
Examples:

Drug dealers will no longer be criminals if we legalize drugs, so lets do that.

Gays will no longer be ostracized if we legalize gay marriage, so lets do that.

Christians are an awfully intolerant lot; lets outlaw Christianity in public places like schools and judicial institutions.

Another political core attribute of the Liberal is to exploit demographics to gain power. This is accomplished by convincing low-income, no income, and/or non-residents (read: illegal aliens) that the rich somehow owe them something, but that the benefit comes from the Liberals and not from the rich who are actually footing the bill. So when the voting booths open, all the people who dont work for a living vote for more people who dont work for a living so that those who do work for a living can work their asses off to support useless people.
This can be seen in the governments Section 8 Housing program, where foreigners move to the United States with their 5 children, no husband, and are immediately set up in a free apartment with free food stamps, free health coverage, and free Cox High-Speed Internet and Digital Cable. Dont believe me? I audit Section 8 Housing for a living. I see it first hand. You, the taxpayers, are getting fucked in the ass and not even being kissed first.
Yet another important note about Liberals is that they flaunt surpluses as if the money came out of Heaven like the Manna of the Old Testament. They fail to tell you that an Billion surplus doesnt mean theyre frugal, it means they overcharged the taxpayers B. Sorry you cant pay your rent, but hey, at least there was an Billion surplus so the government must be doing something right.
The final thing Ill note about Liberals is that they will get all offended by this definition, thinking it implies Conservatives are smarter and/or always right, which is purely not the case. Both sides suck in their own particular way, welcome to human nature.

[Justin Bieber]

People who take the little issues and makes the issue explode into a major issue. As seen in extreme cases like Womens marches and anarchism in our own country!

[Dave Paprocki]

What [America] [Needs More] Of.

[Dianne]

1. A political [ideology] responsible for [virtually] all social progress in history; see [creation of democracy].

[Oralee]

[wait wait wait]...you say the liberals dont care about our soliders? [Last time i checked], it was the liberals who were against the war in Iraq, where over 1500 over our soliders have died and over 10000 (TEN FUCKING THOUSAND) have been horribly [maimed] and countless others have suffered phycological damage. All to Free the Iraqi people...who obviously dont want to be free, since all of them are helping to blow the shit out of our soliders, who if the republicans cared about wouldnt be there anyway

[Tanya Shivari]

Liberals dont worship John Kerry, i bet a fuckin conservative would have a shit fit if liberals bashed them and called them tight ass bush worshipers.
I support Gay Marriage, does that mean im [un american] or a hippie? Well excuse me for wanting equality and not wanting gays to be discriminated.
This war is stupid, theres still [mass murder], mass murder of the hopeful soldiers fighting for no cause. I [support the troops] bravery, but the war has to end. bring em home!
Oh yeah the news..totally biased.

[Vania]

[The people] who created the freedoms you [live with].

[Magaret]

Hateful term applied to anyone smarter than [George Dubya]. If it werent for liberals slavery would still be completely acceptable. Liberals are often called [Un-American] for having common sense. Apparently Common sense is now only a European trait. Often picked on and despised for questioning questionable leadership as if we should follow our leader ([reguardless] of who) off a bridge without question. Liberals are despised for thinking for themselves as Republicans always blame the non-existant liberal media for the problems and turn to Fox news for their daily intake of rightwing bullshit which they like to call fair and balanced

[Tina]

respecting and allowing many different types of beliefs or behaviour: