The woodlands

[Little_Girl]

HAHA..
You know you live in [the woodlands] when....

you can valet park at the mall
your dad makes more money in one week than your government teacher does in an entire year
it isnt exciting anymore to pass a lamborghini, ferrari, or bentley on the road any given day
at school you park between an h2 and an escalade
you see about 500 bmws a day
every girl, starting at the age of 12, has a coach purse
your best friends pregnant
youve never shared a bathroom in your life
[the Texan] cheerleaders perform at your high school [pep rally]
you can talk to someone in Illinois and they assume that you must be rich
[nick lachey] sings at your prom
you have to ask permission to [paint your house]
your high school is rated the snobbiest in America according to David Letterman
if you have nothing to do you buy some beer and drive around
one haircut can change your reputation
myspace takes the place of homework
lunch tables are individual and round
you pay someone to hang your christmas lights and [mow your lawn]
the maids come every other wednesday
your parents own multiple houses
you go to jamaica, thailand, spain, [belize], or the bahamas on a regular basis
you suck if you dont get a beach house for prom
you go skiing every year
your school field trips include New York and Europe
deaths and car accidents are usual
your school has more people in it than some colleges
you have to schedule an [updo] [appt] 6 months in advance if you want someone decent
the sports teams travel in charter buses
parties have top shelf liquor
you go to a theme party every weekend
they build your own [skating rink] in the winter
there are only 3 cheap stores in the whole mall (and thats for the people who come to [The Woodlands] to shop but arent actually from The Woodlands)
when you need a plain white tank top and go to Bebe first
you spend on a christmas gift for your friend
girls have 2 boyfriends
nothing stays a secret
about half the kids go to church, and out of that half only 10% actually follow religion faithfully
your jeans cost the same price as ur [video ipod]
mums cost
if you dont have confidence or money, you are nothing
you take your car to Aqua every week and just let someone else clean it
theres a starbucks on every corner
they put a tommy [bahamas] in..since those are mostly at vacation destinations (look it up)
[Flemings] is the new [TGI] Fridays
you [drop a quarter] and just leave it cuz you dont feel like bending over for it
you cant find your bmw at the mall, because there are 55 others just like it
you see at least one new person in school every day
you have a personal trainer
you have the vbest new cell phone before it even comes out
they serve Chic-Fil-A, Pizza Hut, [Quiznos], and [Smoothie King] in ur school cafeteria
you go buy Chanel glasses for yourself as a pity gift because youre having a bad day
your dog is treated better than your sister
you have a fridge in your room so that you dont have to go alllllll the way downstairs when you want a cold bottle of water
you have more than one closet
youre 17 and have a plastic surgeon
a cheap mall trip only costs
your driveway is gated
you get fined if your fence isnt the right color or height
just about every decent concert tour comes to the [pavilion]
a decent date consists of dinner at [the Cheesecake] Factory and a walk through [Market Street]
you hear parents talk about what a great family community this place is, and you hear your 13 year old sister talking about how wasted she and her friends got the night before.
your [orthodontist] drives a porsche, at least when he isnt driver his other cars
your friends are all gorgeous
your diamonds are real
you hook up with someone and by second period the next day, the whole school knows
you get judged right away when people know where you are from
you live on a Jack [Nicklaus] golf course
your parents buy you multiple cars before you buy your own
you can screw off in high school and college and still get a badass job cause your dad is a corporate executive with connections
your football team could kick many colleges football teams
there are kids at your high school who can score perfectly on the ACT and SAT
making millions of dollars from hard work and/or connections isnt even that attractive, its the power that motivates

[Tanya Shivari]

Planned community north of Houston with strict [homeowner] guidelines assuring your neighbor wont paint their home purple, or pink, or some other [whacko] color. The residents pay LOTS of taxes to ensure it stays nice... with trees. Houston is one of the ugliest cities in America. The Woodlands is where those who care ... and can... escape from Houston. Lots of money but lots of driven people who work hard to earn their lifestyles. Ghetto? Not even close. Kids everywhere, upscale retail, fine dining, excellent public school system and a great selection of private schools from which to choose. [Whats not] to like?

[Julian]

Middle Class [Burb] that thinks a leased [BMW 3 series], and a fat mortgage on a 300k [tract] home makes you rich.

[Couch Potatoe]

[The Woodlands] is a census-designated place and [master-planned] community located in the extraterritorial jurisdiction of Houston within Montgomery County, Texas. As of the 2000 census, the CDP had a total population of 55,649.Located about 30 miles north of Downtown Houston, The Woodlands is famous, as its name suggests, for incorporating the piney woods surrounding it with urban and suburban development. It was named one of the best master-planned communities in the country, and is one of the fastest-growing communities in Texas. The Woodlands is home to [the Woodlands] Town Center Improvement Distrct, a local governmental agency created by the Texas Legislature, The Woodlands Waterway, the 4 AAA Diamond Woodlands Waterway Marriott Hotel and Convention Center, the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion, and The Woodlands Country Club, the only golf club in the nation to have six world-class golf courses. Almost all of the community is located in the city of Houstons extraterritorial jurisdiction (ETJ) with a small portion lies in the corporate limits of Shenandoah.The Woodlands was founded by George P. Mitchell in 1974, who changed ownership of The Woodlands in the 1990s to a joint partnership between Morgan Stanley and Crescent Real Estate Equities. In January of 2004, Crescent sold their interest in The Woodlands to the Rouse Company, a development company familiar with master-planned communities. In 2004, the Rouse Company was sold to General Growth Properties Inc., another shopping mall developer.The Woodlands is growing up as a formidable city, as many companies are moving to The Woodlands, such as [Anadarko], Hewitt Associates, and Chicago Bridge Iron. The Woodlands is located in the Conroe Independent School District, with The Woodlands High School being the primary feeder. Construction on The Woodlands [College Park High School] began in early 2004 and is scheduled to open in 2005. The Woodlands Town Center area includes shopping and eating facilities, plus a waterway reminiscent of [San Antonios] Riverwalk. Under construction in the area are more upscale retail and restaurants, as well as several [urban residential] developments.

[Vania]

I have read almost all of the posts about this place where I have lived my entire life. So here are some corrections to your knowledge about my home:

1. Im not blond haired and blue eyed, and neither is at least 60% of the girls her.
2. We are not all stoned, all the time. Just because we have money doesnt mean we use drugs, although some do.
3. We have amazing achievements academically, people need to stop saying otherwise.
4. Most teenagers do not have brand new BMWs like some think, just because our parents do doesnt mean they will waste it on us.
5. [Car accidents] and deaths are NOT the norm, and it is very sad when that occurs.
6. Very few families own two houses. Once again, JUST BECAUSE WE HAVE MONEY DOESNT MEAN WE JUST THROW IT AROUND WITHOUT EVEN CONSIDERING IT!!!!!!
7. People dont always cheat on there boyfriend/girlfriend and spread rumors and secrets.
8. Most [high schoolers] are fairly nice and hard working.
   Those are just a few responses to the many people who hate [the woodlands] for no reason. I actually [do want] to leave this place once I graduate high school, but I [dont hate] it like people who dont know what they are talking about seem to.

[Tina]

[The least] ghetto town in the world, The Woodlands is home to the #1 snobbiest high school in the United States, as named by [Larry King] himself. Despised throughout Texas for our [superiority] in everything except academics because the student population is mostly stoned off of their ass (all the time).