Scutcher

[Tina]

An implement or machine for scutching hemp, flax, or
cotton; etc.; a scutch; a scutching machine.

[Marquetta]

A tribe of one (at present) from [north England] who eats a lot but never buys any food from shops, relying instead on the delivery services provicded by such as Tesco. Partial to home delivered pre-cooked and hot food but only when supplied with at [leat] 1.5l of caffine free diet coke.
Can frequently be found in starbuck coffee shops drinking coffee whilst either reading a technical magazine, checking email via a [netbook] or updating facebook status via an iphone.