Methodist college

[Tanya Shivari]

Methodist College is a private institution that is located in [Fayetteville, NC]. The student body primarily consists of extremely disfigured women and alcoholic golfers who drink heavily just to blur the memories of sleeping with them. While students who live on-campus suffer from a strictly enforced no-alcohol policy, off-campus students at Heather Ridge Apartments enjoy the freedom of vandalizing and littering the complex with [Beast Ice] cans and [King Cobra] 40s. The HR residents also like to enjoy late night swimming, sausage fests, and 3 AM trips to [Wafflehouse] to admire the local crackheads. Even though Methodist College accumulates a ridiculous amount of revenue off tuition (3rd most expensive college in North Carolina), most would fail to recognize where this tuition money is utilized. Surely it isnt all spent on the burnt out community college level faculty. The money is obviously spent elsewhere because The Methodist College Security Force relies heavily on making money by giving students parking tickets for parking in an inappropriate fashion or driving [1.75] miles over the speed limit. Perhaps the most suitable conclusion for this definition would be the Methodist College [Alma Mater]. Methodist College, where the men are men, and the women are too.