Vapour lock

[Monty]

The primary cause of snoring in men.
When a man lies on his back to sleep, his [balls drop] over his arsehole, blocking the main south vent and causing [vapour lock]. The resultant build-up of burps, farts, heavy exhalation [fractions], digestive fumes, [beer gas], and [weed smoke], then has to be [vented] to atmosphere by alternative means, which requires his gut gremlins to re-route the gases being expelled back through the primary inhalation channel.
Fortunately this is possible because the exhaust gases, being warmer than the incoming air, rise to the upper half of the esophaegus, and the two vapour streams are able to pass each other going opposite directions in the same pipe.
The actual sound of snoring is comprised of millions of tiny gas molecule voices shouting at each other on the way past. The incoming ones are shouting Oo, poo, you stink, or variations thereof, and the outgoing ones are calling back fuck you Pinky, you dont know shit and youre gonna get fisted.
Snoring can be avoided completely by the [judicious] use of a suitable testicle rest which keeps the butthole uncovered and open. Naturally however this means that a man employing such a device tends to fart more in his sleep.
Women dont like us snoring, but they [whinge] and moan about the alternative as well. This is because they are essentially moaning bitches with penis envy and were born unhappy, but we still love them.