Rums

[Jessica]

Recto-Urethral Metamorphosis Syndrome
RUMS does not have to be the end of the world! Its only the spontaneous formation of an [anomalous] canal leading from the urinary bladder to the colon. There are various treatments and support groups available depending on how bad the piss coming out of your ass gets.
Various forms of anal neglect (ie. vigorous [anal pounding], forgetting to wipe) are the [impetus] of the formation of a new [aqueduct] leading from the urinary tract to the puborectalis, a process known as anal fusion. No cure currently exists for RUMS. However, the following treatment options may relieve both you and your family of the grief, physical agony, and humiliation associated with [anal drip]:
• Anal scraping -- Use your physician-prescribed anal pen to remove any exterior lesions that may form around the sphincter. Make sure the blade is duly sharpened beforehand. Please use caution during this procedure, as intense scraping of the anal region may exacerbate the amount of piss coming from your ass.
• Rapid anal insertion ([RAI])-- Insert the anal pen into your sphincter and leave it in place for [5 to 7] days. Repeat this process every 2 weeks until symptoms improve. Remove ONLY to defecate.
• Emergency Anal Sealant -- Apply a dime-size dollop of Dr. Thesingers Quick [Dry Anal] [Epoxy] around the sphincter whenever anal drip reaches a constant, painful stream. Do NOT apply ointment more than 5 times in 24 hours. Use as directed.
• Post-Anal Fusion Reconstructive Surgery (PAFRS): With the help of a break-through medical procedure known as PAFRS, doctors can successfully [minimalize] the daunting effects of RUMS. Once intensively [tunneling] into the sphincter with a laser-tipped anal [pipette], doctors [cauterize] the aqueduct so as to divert all excess urine from the colon toward the urinary bladder; and away from the anus. This operation is reserved for patients with only the most severe cases of anal drip.
Consult your anal specialist for advice.
Theres help!!
Counseling Hotlines:
1-800-244-6373
1-800-382-5277
[email protected]
For all your RUMS related needs!