Oklahoma panhandle

[Becky]

A seemingly impossible feat of [human anatomy] in which a midget is coated from head to toe in ranch dressing. The midget is then adorned with a frying pan on the head to be used as a hat when making [headway]. Finally, and most painfully, the midget is forced up into the rectal region of a female human, tears out [the ovaries], and wears them as a pair of antlers.