Scholasticitis

[Rihanna]

A seemingly harmless disease, vivified by ones entrance into an institution of [higher education], resulting in [assholism], severe cases of jerkherria and the rare but horrid instances of nausea imposed on others. Most common symptoms include a desperate urge for attention and a pathetic need to prove oneself to others. Causes behind the disease have [eluded] researchers for decades, since many of them suffer from severe cases of scholasticitis themselves. Although speculations suggest an increase in ones production of self-assumed intelligence might be the cause behind this ruthless disease.
Easy ways to spot victims of scholasticitis include the following simple tests:

Subject has difficulty passing a single day without correcting someone.
Subject believes that scholasticitis probably indicates some form of praise that [he/she/it] will then proceed to define themselves.
Subject will attempt to correct the grammar, spelling, punctuation and/or logic behind this very definition of their condition.