Anatolian corkscrew

[Ernesto]

A sexual act in which the passive partner sits on the blades of a modified ceiling fan and the active partner penetrates her from below. If done properly and with sufficient lubrication, this arrangement should cause mutual delight as the gentle rotation of the ceiling fan causes her to corkscrew in place on his phallus.
The Anatolian Corkscrew was invented by [Sultan] Abdülmecid I of the Ottoman Empire, and first actuated in 1852, in the city of İzmit. Of course, the Sultan did not use a ceiling fan, because [ceiling fans] were not yet known to the Ottomans at that time. Instead, he had his carpenters build a [bespoke] spinner from imported [larch] wood. There has been some speculation as to whom His Majesty first boinked on [the contraption], but most historians agree that it was not his then most recent (and, in fact, twentieth) wife, Serfiraz Hanımefendi. Her preferences tended towards the vanilla.