The odyssey

[Little_Girl]

[Odysseus]’s clan had just finished pwning the Trojans in the Trojan War. After celebrating their victory with large amounts of [fist-pumping], Odysseus and his men go trolling in the Cicones’ forum. Unfortunately, the Cicones dislike the newfags, and request that the moderators ban them. Odysseus gets perma-banned from the site, and six men from each squad had their accounts deleted for good measure.
The party then attempts to return to their clan’s homepage, Ithaca.net, but due to a [404 Error] Redirect, they land on the site of the Lotus Eaters instead. The Lotus Eaters are a group of lethargic people who enjoy watching optical illusions and double rainbows while snacking on some joints. They manage to persuade a few of Odysseus’s men to sample some Lotus/M. C. [Escher], and the noobs get their minds blown and refuse to leave the site with the clan. Odysseus pimpslaps some sense into them and brings them with him anyways, and they web-surf away to the forum of the [Cyclopes].
Silly 1500 character count, this isnt even a 1/4th of the story!

[Monty]

Upon his return, [Odysseus] finds that multiple members are attempting to take his title of Leader, and they are vying for the support of his second-in-command, [Penelope]. He finds his apprentice, [Telemachus], who has risen to the rank of Senior Member during the time Odysseus was gone, and they agree that the other members must be banned. Odysseus gains the support of two of his moderators, Eumaeus and Philoteus, and they prepare the [banhammer] for a massacre. Meanwhile, Penelope, hearing rumors of Odysseus’s return, holds a contest for the members, claiming that the winner will hold the title of Leader. She demands they free-hand a portrait of themselves shooting an arrow through twelve bronze ax-sockets in [MS Paint], and only Odysseus is able to do so, disguised as a Guest. Revealing his true identity by logging onto his main account, Odysseus proceeds to ban the entire member list, [sparing] only those who did not attempt to woo Penelope. He deranks his third moderator, Melanthius, to Junior Member, and then proceeds to delete the account, as Melanthius had helped the members instead of him. Twelve of Penelope’s apprentices also had their accounts deleted, as they had been on the friends lists of the ambitious members. Satisfied, Odysseus sends a private message to Penelope, who recognizes Odysseus from [the olive] tree in his signature. Odysseus takes back his leadership, and [Ithaca].net is at peace once more.

[THEND]

[Rihanna]

The tattered remains of the clan attempt to take refuge at [Circe]’s webcam show. However, Circe baits half of [Odysseus]’s men into buying premium accounts, and Odysseus is forced to stop their subscriptions for them with the help of Hermes the hacker. Hermes gives Odysseus the password for the admin account (password: [moly]), and Odysseus then removes his men from the list of premium subscribers. Circe then falls in love with Odysseus, and agrees to help him locate his clan’s homepage.

She directs him to 4chan’s thread archive, where Odysseus finds a thread with [Philosoraptor]/Teiresias being OP. Odysseus bumps the thread with a [necropost], and Philosoraptor/Teiresias responds with a post containing guidance for the dangers ahead. Other users find the thread, though, and start replying as well. Odysseus’s mother copy-pastes a creepypasta from /x/ describing her death and the situation at home, and [Agamemnon] gives Odysseus dating advice while warning him of telling women to go make him a sandwich.

Bypass 1500 character count pl0x?

[Sommer]

At the [Cyclopes]’ forum, [Odysseus] and twelve of his men stumble onto Polyphemus’s blog, and attempt to post on his recent entries. Polyphemus logs on, and finds them trolling. Enraged, he traces their IP addresses and forces them to stay on the site, and then steals six of their internet connections to use for downloading pr0n. Desperate, Odysseus launches a DDoS attack against Polyphemus, and manages to escape with his men as attachments to the Cyclops’s emails. While web-surfing away, Odysseus taunts Polyphemus, causing Polyphemus to beg webmaster Poseidon to avenge him.
Odysseus then meets up with [Aeolus], and asks for a [Paypal] donation in order to help him pay for an upgrade from [dial-up] internet to [Verizon FiOS] so that he can find his way back to [Ithaca].net faster. Aeolus donates, but Odysseus’s men, thinking that the transaction contained keygens for Starcraft, hack into the transaction. Paypal, sensing a security breach, shuts down its services for the next forty-eight hours, preventing Odysseus from claiming his money, and therefore, his [high-speed] fiber-optics internet.
The clan then journeys onward to the private site of the Laestrygonians. The Laestrygonians, being the code monkeys that they are, are excited at the arrival of Odysseus and his men. They launch experimental cyber-attacks at the party, and only Odysseus’s squad manages to escape.
1500 character count is still silly.