Towel

[Sarah]

Contrary to the other dumbass definitions of towel, a towel is someone so fucking useless that they would be better off as a towel.

[Sarah]

A random, obscure comeback when nothing else can be thought of. First used by South Park character Towely.

[Sarah]

1)Towel is a slang term, which quickly became popular across the streets of Long Island, NY. The word towel is not generally used lightly, but is generally used to put someone down you have very little respect for.

To be a lowlife motherfucker
Popular Uses: You're a towel, No, you're a towel, What a towel

[Sarah]

An individual (mainly male) that exemplifies all of the qualities of an annoying, suck-upping, over-the-top, loser and menace to society that can only be dealt with by repetitively calling that person a towel. Often associated with the name, Drew.

[Sarah]

Something that you squirt your hot, sticky [jizz] in after you [masturbate]. Better than a tissue as its bigger and catches more of the sperm. Heating it up a little before hand creates an even better sensation for your [penis].

Look up [Fap Shorts] for similar uses.

[Sarah]

Towel (n.) Named after the worst character ever created on South Park, “towel” refers to a person who is perpetually strung out on a certain prohibited substance whose active ingredient is THC. Said person is also uncooperative and enjoys spewing racial epithets and homophobic slurs. Synonymous with a female cleaning product.

[Sarah]

A verb meaning to place a towel under the door to prevent cold air from coming in the room. Other uses include preventing the smell of illegal drugs from entering the dorm hallway.

[Sarah]

1. Someone who rubs you the wrong way
2. Someone you hate.
3. To be someone's bitch or pussy whipped

[Donald Trump]

The most useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to- hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal ; you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have lost. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

[Dave Paprocki]

A piece of thick absorbent cloth or paper used for drying oneself or wiping things dry.